By Melissa Keeley

Staff Writer

Many of us spent yesterday - Valentine's Day - with someone special. Others spent it ignoring the fact that it was Hallmark's way of reminding us that we are single while eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's - or, just the opposite, celebrating the fact that we are not tied down to someone just yet.

Whatever your current situation, we all experience relationships of some kind with members of the opposite sex everyday. The boy who sits next to you in biology class; that girl who always smiles at you while you are walking on the path - all of these interactions have been affected by the way we have been socialized to view gender. Society affects and guides how we interact with one another in even the simplest of exchanges.

Inequality between the genders is evident in almost all social interactions and is often invisible because it is inherent in our social structure. For example, many men bought presents for their significant others for Valentine's Day. Although society is progressing and more women are paying for themselves and buying presents for men, it is still widely believed that a man should be paying for both.

Even if a man believes that women are equal, he may still believe that it is gentlemanly to pay, that it is just considerate. However, this standard does not apply to the woman. Why? Society has judged men by their wallet and so traditionally a man shows his worth and his ability to provide for a family by shelling out the cash.

This is just a single example of how society has programmed us to think a certain way about gender roles. Other interactions portray a similar mindset. A good man opens the door for his date, unlocks her car door first and walks her to her doorstep. Many of these practices may seem outdated, but they still occur because both girls and boys are told at a young age that these are appropriate actions.

However, there are also some not so harmless examples of how men have been socialized to treat women. A woman walking down the street may be honked at or even shouted at. Lewd comments may be made under the guise of simple flirting or letting a girl know she is attractive. But most of these interactions degrade women and represent the societal view that it is not improper to address women in such a manner.

Catherine MacKinnon, professor of law at the University of Michigan, believes that such acts of sexual harassment constitute a form of sexual violence against women. A study conducted of 930 San Francisco households 92.2 percent of women were sexually assaulted or harassed in their lifetime. Even if MacKinnon's definition of sexual violence, ranging from verbal harassment to rape, encompasses too much, this is still a disturbing statistic.

MacKinnon gives sexuality, and specifically our society's representation of and reaction to sexuality, as the cause of inequality between the sexes and the mistreatment of women. It is our different sexualities (sexuality as a biological distinction) that define our gender. Gender is how the different sexes are defined socially. Therefore, gender inequality in society occurs because we are separated by our gender, which is defined by our sexuality.

Further, MacKinnon contends that sexuality creates inequality because sex has traditionally been an act of power and in many cases of aggression. Society repeatedly objectifies and oppresses women because of their sexuality. Women are seen scantily clad in advertisements to sell products, soft pornography has been deemed acceptable by the bulk of society, and women who are deemed equal and powerful are those who portray a male attitude towards sexuality and reduce themselves to objects.

While MacKinnon believes that any difference that results because of sexuality is bad, there is a flaw in her argument. Men and women are different, and some of those differences create natural inequalities. Men are physically stronger than women and their demeanors are more aggressive. Women hold the responsibility of childbirth and in many instances (although this too is debatably a result of socialization) tend to be more nurturing.

So how are we to resolve this conflict? Women are not of lesser worth because they are physically weaker, and a man's worth should not be gauged primarily by his ability to earn money. Men should be allowed to raise children and powerful women should not be suspect. Difference does not mean inequality, and sexuality, while a defining characteristic, should not be a basis for value judgments.

When God first created man and woman he created them as partners - equal partners. In Gen. 2:20 the word helper is used to describe the woman's role toward the man. However, every other time that same word in Hebrew is used in the Bible it is in reference to God's relationship to man and is translated as partner. It is possible that this translation resulted because those translating were affected by a society that instinctively views women as inferior.

After the fall the lives of men and women changed. Sin created imperfections in our actions and our interactions. The inequality between the sexes results from the imperfection of human nature. God says everyone is equal in his sight; therefore, to view someone as inferior in word or deed is sinful.

If sexual inequality is a result of sin, then we as Christians are called to not only seek forgiveness for this sin but also to try to repent of our behavior. As reformed Christians working towards a new creation we are to reform all spheres of our life; this should include the sphere of gender relations.

In our relationships we should try to achieve this equality by respecting each other's bodies and minds. We can all work harder to break the standard of inequality that society has adopted in relationships from dating couples to casual acquaintances.