By Aaron Bandstra

Guest Writer

Being a casual observer of trends among my fellow students, I think I have noticed one. In this age of denominational uncommittedness, I have noticed not only the larger trend of students becoming interested in more charismatic denominations, but - surprisingly - students becoming interested in the high order, orthodox and catholic parts of Christendom. I am curious what it is about Calvin students that incites denominational searching. Is it as simple as people rebounding from their religious upbringing; those from liberal denominations seeking conservatism, and those from conservative denominations seeking liberalism? Is it students genuinely seeking the best place or form to allow their faith to manifest itself, or is it merely a fascination with the other? Most likely it is a host of reasons, not just one. Perhaps there is a sense that Christian truth overrides denominational commitment, or a general open-minded attitude regarding religious expression as being somewhat unchained to our fundamental faith structure, allowing for freedom of exploration.

Besides the reasons behind this searching, I am also interested in the consequences of searching: to where does looking for the true or the best feeling church lead? Is it merely satisfying human cravings - what we think we need to feel spiritually peaked, leading to some ``religious experience'' - or is it seeking to fill a genuine need to collectively engage with Christ, bringing us in closer communion with him?

My religious queries are bracketed by a central question relating to these consequences, wheter we must seek out the closest semblance of the true church (as mandated by Christ) in the forest of denominations - if that one true church exists. Isn't it the case that worshipping or honoring God is an individual decision, with individual consequences, and isn't dependant on a specific church? After all, Jesus says ``Everyone who acknowledges me before men, I also will acknowledge him before my Father in heaven.'' (Matt. 10:32-33). Is personal preference all that is relevant in choosing denominations? I think that though it is true that Christ acknowledges all believers, this doesn't plunge denominations into complete relativism. Rather, in a kind of grateful, and maybe inevitable response for the gift that Christ is, Christians must continue to seek truth in the form of church.

This assumes a lot, though: it assumes that I enter church having acknowledged this gift, and am seeking an appropriate response. The truth is, usually I enter church seeking a spiritual experience, not necessarily to participate in a formulated communal response. This seeking has led me to visit a lot of different churches outside my own church background: Russian Orthodox, Greek Orthodox, Antiochian Orthodox, High Order Anglican and Orthodox Catholicism.

I can't claim any kind of pure Christian rationale for this seeking. Really, I am fascinated by the experience of worship at these different churches, with some, nearly a sensory overload with the smell of incense, the sound of chanting and the sight of churchmen performing given rituals. My religious quest is just that, a religious quest, a way of trying to satisfy and feed a much deeper, and neglected, quest, that of communion with Christ. As much as I want church to be some deep, inevitable response, it isn't.

Is this church search fruitless then? Is it merely a hunt to find the most interesting and involved aesthetic experience? Is it any different than the pursuit of others to find the most exciting and energizing experience in church, something I find myself often criticizing? It seems that quests to find an exciting worship experience and deep mysterious spirituality are fundamentally the same thing, human attempts to satisfy our religious or spiritual cravings. However, I don't think this discredits either approach, even though they can be easily discredited human attempts with probably misguided motivation.

I think God somehow considers these quests, and uses the opportunity to shows himself in them. God, in his grace, is somehow able to take impure, poorly motivated and distinctly human efforts, and manipulate them into occasions pointing ultimately to him. Our God is not a demanding God, but a tolerant God, tolerant towards human attempts to fill spiritual voids. And more than that, he longs to be close to us, to be in communion with us, and sometimes uses occasions of church with fuzzy human intentions to bring about this communion.

In spite of this tolerance, every effort needs to be made to make the search for religious expression much more than a hunt for spiritual satisfaction. The quest needs to be one that seeks the best form in which to gratefully respond communally to Christ's divine gift.