Video ›

That's right, we have a video tab, but no videos.

But, when you consider what a miracle of technology the internet really is, you can't be that disappointed. I mean, you have access to one of humankind's greatest achievements. By way of the internet, there is more information and entertainment at your fingertips than could ever be stored in your brain. That's humbling.

Don't think about that for too long, though; when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you, and all that.

The moral of the story is that you shouldn't be thinking, "Gosh, I can't believe they don't have videos." You should be thinking, "Wow. Billions of years of the universe, millions of years of evolution, and thousands of years of civilization have met their culmination in this: the internet. I have been given a gift to live in such times as these. I think I'll call my grandparents just to tell them that I love them."

If you're desperate for a video, watch some Jay-Z.